Growing up I had Adam Sandler movies that I loved like Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore, but those movies get fewer and farther between. That's My Boy is a grasp at the old days. Sandler is a grown up child sensation that got his fame from having sex with his math teacher. He decides to reunite with his son in order to create a situation where he will be able to pay his tax debts.
Sandler really sells his wicked good role as Donny Berger. He is constantly drinking and saying the wrong thing, but you like him. He really does have some weird engaging quality about him that creeps you out and makes him fun at the same time. Andy Samberg is Han Solo Berger. Yep Han Solo. He has a boatload of insecurities and quirks, like security underwear, that he plays to a T. He and his dad's chemistry just seems a little off when it needs to be on. My favorite parts of the cast were the supporting roles. Vanilla Ice, James Cann, Will Forte, Nick Swardson, Susan Sarandon, Rex Ryan, and the rest of the supporting cast are give this movie those little moments that you look for.
This is definitely not a kid friendly movie. Right off the bat there is the teacher and the student fling. The teacher is hot, but the whole situation just feels awkward. There are a couple of scenes that are just more awkward than funny, and needlessly so. But that could have just been me. From the myriad of sexual references to the strip club all the jokes are more raunchy than funny. Like tasting bodily fluids to find out what it is. That's not funny, that's dumb.
I was actually looking forward to this movie. I had hoped that it would bring back my younger years. It tried really hard, but ultimately fell a little flat. I enjoyed, just not nearly as good as I had wanted it to be. I'm probably just warped like that. It jut isn't for people who want a genuinely funny comedy. You have to take what good it gives you and enjoy that, cause that sex "jokes" is all you are going to get.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Snow White And The Huntsman
"You know what would make Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs better?" SHOULD NEVER BE SAID!
Now having gotten that out of the way, this is a darker more epic take on the old tale of Snow White. The story is basically the same. The evil queen wants to be young and powerful forever, and must make the fairest maiden, Snow White, dead to stay that way. In order to add some scale and weight to the story, this telling has quite a bit of action. And it is pretty good. Fighting trolls, soldiers, and the queen does bring some fun and excitement to the table. But in creating this variation it feels like it drags at times. I caught myself thinking, "Yeah, I get it. Now lets move on." Because the story augmentation was just extra fluff. It didn't give me anything that I wanted and didn't receive in my previous outing with Ms. White and her merry men. They tried to give you perspective on how the queen was wronged and warped in to this monster, but I don't care. We don't need a reason. She is evil. Pure and simple. The introduction of the dwarf feels unnecessary. It is kind of like they put them in because they had to, although they added very little to the narrative. And there is something of a love triangle that doesn't even get played our for whatever reason... surprised?
I read that they wanted to do as much practical effects as possible. Which I think worked out pretty well for them. Most everything looks as it should. Trolls, Dwarfs that weren't actually little people, and the super cool Magic Mirror were all sharp. The dark forest is extra evil and creepy, while the untainted areas to have a certain Disney-esque feel to them that I liked. I feel like they took the time to polish those aspects.
The casting was a little wonky. It's not that there weren't good actors, it is just that they don't really work together as a unit. Chris Hemsworth as the huntsman, was the only character that felt was adequately cast. He is dashing, handsome, and Strong. He plays the lonely hunter well. Charlize Theron is the evil queen. She is twisted and mean and great. Problem is that she is way more attractive that Snow White. Our queen needs to be beautiful, but not so beautiful that it diminishes the beauty of out princess. The actors that they chose to play the dwarfs were too good for such lousy tiny parts. Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, Ray Winstone, Nick Frost, and Toby Jones are all good actors. Too good, in fact, to play such nothing roles. That have such a small effect on the story as a whole. Last and least is Kristen Stewart. Listen, I'm sure she is a nice person. She probably has done something once where somebody actually thought she acted well. (I personally think she practices better than she plays) But she just drags everyone down. The lack of emotion/acting range just leaves everything bland and tasteless. She just doesn't give you the delightful Snow White that you want to love because she is just wonderful. She just doesn't stand up to the on screen presence that Theron provides.
Snow White leaves much to be desired. The action and increase in serious tone of the story do not make up for it's over all lack of goodness. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) was moving art with sound. It was satisfying, and this just isn't.
Now having gotten that out of the way, this is a darker more epic take on the old tale of Snow White. The story is basically the same. The evil queen wants to be young and powerful forever, and must make the fairest maiden, Snow White, dead to stay that way. In order to add some scale and weight to the story, this telling has quite a bit of action. And it is pretty good. Fighting trolls, soldiers, and the queen does bring some fun and excitement to the table. But in creating this variation it feels like it drags at times. I caught myself thinking, "Yeah, I get it. Now lets move on." Because the story augmentation was just extra fluff. It didn't give me anything that I wanted and didn't receive in my previous outing with Ms. White and her merry men. They tried to give you perspective on how the queen was wronged and warped in to this monster, but I don't care. We don't need a reason. She is evil. Pure and simple. The introduction of the dwarf feels unnecessary. It is kind of like they put them in because they had to, although they added very little to the narrative. And there is something of a love triangle that doesn't even get played our for whatever reason... surprised?
I read that they wanted to do as much practical effects as possible. Which I think worked out pretty well for them. Most everything looks as it should. Trolls, Dwarfs that weren't actually little people, and the super cool Magic Mirror were all sharp. The dark forest is extra evil and creepy, while the untainted areas to have a certain Disney-esque feel to them that I liked. I feel like they took the time to polish those aspects.
The casting was a little wonky. It's not that there weren't good actors, it is just that they don't really work together as a unit. Chris Hemsworth as the huntsman, was the only character that felt was adequately cast. He is dashing, handsome, and Strong. He plays the lonely hunter well. Charlize Theron is the evil queen. She is twisted and mean and great. Problem is that she is way more attractive that Snow White. Our queen needs to be beautiful, but not so beautiful that it diminishes the beauty of out princess. The actors that they chose to play the dwarfs were too good for such lousy tiny parts. Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, Ray Winstone, Nick Frost, and Toby Jones are all good actors. Too good, in fact, to play such nothing roles. That have such a small effect on the story as a whole. Last and least is Kristen Stewart. Listen, I'm sure she is a nice person. She probably has done something once where somebody actually thought she acted well. (I personally think she practices better than she plays) But she just drags everyone down. The lack of emotion/acting range just leaves everything bland and tasteless. She just doesn't give you the delightful Snow White that you want to love because she is just wonderful. She just doesn't stand up to the on screen presence that Theron provides.
Snow White leaves much to be desired. The action and increase in serious tone of the story do not make up for it's over all lack of goodness. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937) was moving art with sound. It was satisfying, and this just isn't.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Here is a movie that catches your attention with just it's title. You pass the poster then think, "Wait. What?! Vampires... crap." But it is super entertaining. What they have done is taken the already super icon, President Abraham Lincoln, and made him even more epic.
Mr. Lincoln's mother is murdered by vampires, so his desire for vengeance drives him to learn to hunt and kill the evils that stalk in the night while he develops into the Lincoln we know.
The premise is what I hear the most complaints about when I mention this movie. And those people should get off their high horse and have some fun. Because Ole Honest Abe takes his silver ax and smokes vampires like a boss. He learns to channel his strength where he can fell a tree with one swing. It's so cool. It is just a really fun addition to what is already and interesting story that just needed more hand to hand supernatural action. Accept their reality and enjoy it.
There are familiar faces in this movie, but our lead is a complete mystery to me. Benjamin Walker is a very good Lincoln. He has this strong presence to him that the character needs, and he just executes very well. Dominic Cooper plays Henry Sturgess. Sturgess is Abraham's rather strict vampire killing mentor. Cooper is starting to string together a nice run of flicks, and he can definitely add this one to his win column. Anthony Mackie is a child hood friend of Abe, and a very capable side kick durring his slaying days. The only problem is he his kind of forgettable. You recognize him from his other roles, but he is not a guy that you know his name. He is "that guy from that thing" not "Anthony". But he still shows up in a big way for out main character. May Elizabeth Winstead is good as his Mrs. Lincoln. She just has some lines that seem out of time, but that isn't necessarily her fault. Jimmi Simpson, who you will recognize from his many roles, is also a welcome addition to the Presidents entourage. Last But certainly not least is Rufus Sewell. He is such a good bad guy. He just has a natural arrogance want about his characters that makes you hate them. I wouldn't know what to do with him in a non-completely evil role. But as a bad guy he is fantastic.
Special effects are also quite good. There were only a couple of times where I notice, and in a effects heavy movie where you have peoples faces getting all monstered up, that is not bad. There are also some large scale fight scenes in a stampede, on a racing locomotive, and in a plantation look good and just really add to that epicness that they are pouring into this movie.
This is just a twist on a great story that is actually executed well. It even throws some interesting social commentary in there with out being overbearing and ruing the flow of the story. I recommend it to anyone who likes our 16th president, the violent elimination of the undead, and has the slightest interest in the combination of both. Or if you are just sick of the crap vampire garbage that Twilight give you. Go see how a man deals with those filthy blood suckers. Step aside Buffy, Abe has some work to do.
AND ALSO!!!! here is a trailer for a movie a saw before this, because i want to see SANTA CLAUS punch a bad guy in the face. Yes, you heard me.
Mr. Lincoln's mother is murdered by vampires, so his desire for vengeance drives him to learn to hunt and kill the evils that stalk in the night while he develops into the Lincoln we know.
The premise is what I hear the most complaints about when I mention this movie. And those people should get off their high horse and have some fun. Because Ole Honest Abe takes his silver ax and smokes vampires like a boss. He learns to channel his strength where he can fell a tree with one swing. It's so cool. It is just a really fun addition to what is already and interesting story that just needed more hand to hand supernatural action. Accept their reality and enjoy it.
There are familiar faces in this movie, but our lead is a complete mystery to me. Benjamin Walker is a very good Lincoln. He has this strong presence to him that the character needs, and he just executes very well. Dominic Cooper plays Henry Sturgess. Sturgess is Abraham's rather strict vampire killing mentor. Cooper is starting to string together a nice run of flicks, and he can definitely add this one to his win column. Anthony Mackie is a child hood friend of Abe, and a very capable side kick durring his slaying days. The only problem is he his kind of forgettable. You recognize him from his other roles, but he is not a guy that you know his name. He is "that guy from that thing" not "Anthony". But he still shows up in a big way for out main character. May Elizabeth Winstead is good as his Mrs. Lincoln. She just has some lines that seem out of time, but that isn't necessarily her fault. Jimmi Simpson, who you will recognize from his many roles, is also a welcome addition to the Presidents entourage. Last But certainly not least is Rufus Sewell. He is such a good bad guy. He just has a natural arrogance want about his characters that makes you hate them. I wouldn't know what to do with him in a non-completely evil role. But as a bad guy he is fantastic.
Special effects are also quite good. There were only a couple of times where I notice, and in a effects heavy movie where you have peoples faces getting all monstered up, that is not bad. There are also some large scale fight scenes in a stampede, on a racing locomotive, and in a plantation look good and just really add to that epicness that they are pouring into this movie.
This is just a twist on a great story that is actually executed well. It even throws some interesting social commentary in there with out being overbearing and ruing the flow of the story. I recommend it to anyone who likes our 16th president, the violent elimination of the undead, and has the slightest interest in the combination of both. Or if you are just sick of the crap vampire garbage that Twilight give you. Go see how a man deals with those filthy blood suckers. Step aside Buffy, Abe has some work to do.
AND ALSO!!!! here is a trailer for a movie a saw before this, because i want to see SANTA CLAUS punch a bad guy in the face. Yes, you heard me.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Prometheus
Ridley Scott lied through his teeth leading up to this film saying that it isn't a prequel to Alien. Which all of us who have seen the movie know that it more or less is. It isn't (in my opinion) in that it is before what a prequel to Alien should have been. And there are some things I really liked about, and things I really didn't. The premise I like. Humans in search of their beginnings find what could ultimately be their end. This review is a bit spoilerish (Not totally) so if you just want to know the bottom line skip to the end. If you don't care. Read on...
From jump street there guy taking a gun on to the planet is asked why he is doing so. He is told that this is a scientific mission. LIKE THAT MATTERS. Because you have no idea what lifeforms may or may not be here or may or may not be hostile. I'd rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.
Then ere is clean air in the cave, but you NEVER TAKE OFF YOUR HELMET! Disease this is an alien planet that is forever away from Earth you don't know what is floating around there. When they took off their helmets all I could think of was Buzz Lightyear saying, "My eyeballs could have been sucked from their sockets!"
Screw the old man' and his Iron Man get up. He is a useless character. Throw him away put his brain in the robot. CONSOLIDATE. I don't need him showing up for 2 seconds to get slapped around by the angry natives and die. And Theron I love her, but she served no purpose as well. NONE.
RAPID FIRE: What is up with the zombie man? With all that technology why bring an ax in space? Why do they want to kill humans? Why use and overly elaborate biological weapon? Why not fly to earth 2000 years ago and squash us like the bugs we would have been (probably would be now)? How did the tummy staples from surgery not rip out during all this running and jumping and her entrails become her extrails? Why does the computer for the Alien ship operate by means of breast implant buttons? And where did the aliens that killed the humanoid aliens go? Plus many more...
Those were all the questions it didn't answer. The one it did was: "Where do we and they come from?" more or less...
The cast was fine. Even though the majority of the characters they play serve absolutely no purpose. Noomi Rapace is our heroine. She is does a good job. She helps deliver some of the most intense scenes in the movie. Michael Fassbener is our android friend "David" who gives off a very creepy vibe in a very good way. Charlize Theron is in charge of the operation because the company that she works for has funded this trip. Other than that, she is totally useless. I love her, but she serves no purpose. Not even as eye candy. Idris Elba gets and honorable mention as the captain of the ship because his role could have encompassed Theron's role, and also because he was on The Office. Guy Pierce is the old man who owns the company that funds this expedition. He was like 92 and supposed to be dead. He should have been. his character did nothing but take up space and look bad. Everyone else is waste because in a movie like this you need enemy fodder.
I saw it in IMAX 3D, and that was awesome. There were a few parts that I felt as though I needed to put on a seat belt because the picture ans sound was great. There were also some really intense scenes that really embed themselves in your mind. In your mind. But there weren't very many middle ground parts. it was kind of all or nothing and left me a little unsatisfied. The base story I really like, I just don't fee like it was as tight or polished as it should have been.
END!!! Overall it raised more questions than it answered, but did have an entertaining quality to it. It wasn't as intense as the trailer would lead you to believe, and there were some things that didn't fit or might have fit had they been clearer. I felt like this movie in the series, much like most of the cast, was unnecessary. I see it as more of a stepping stone to more of the answers and Alien lore that I, as a geek, desperately want want.
From jump street there guy taking a gun on to the planet is asked why he is doing so. He is told that this is a scientific mission. LIKE THAT MATTERS. Because you have no idea what lifeforms may or may not be here or may or may not be hostile. I'd rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.
Then ere is clean air in the cave, but you NEVER TAKE OFF YOUR HELMET! Disease this is an alien planet that is forever away from Earth you don't know what is floating around there. When they took off their helmets all I could think of was Buzz Lightyear saying, "My eyeballs could have been sucked from their sockets!"
Screw the old man' and his Iron Man get up. He is a useless character. Throw him away put his brain in the robot. CONSOLIDATE. I don't need him showing up for 2 seconds to get slapped around by the angry natives and die. And Theron I love her, but she served no purpose as well. NONE.
RAPID FIRE: What is up with the zombie man? With all that technology why bring an ax in space? Why do they want to kill humans? Why use and overly elaborate biological weapon? Why not fly to earth 2000 years ago and squash us like the bugs we would have been (probably would be now)? How did the tummy staples from surgery not rip out during all this running and jumping and her entrails become her extrails? Why does the computer for the Alien ship operate by means of breast implant buttons? And where did the aliens that killed the humanoid aliens go? Plus many more...
Those were all the questions it didn't answer. The one it did was: "Where do we and they come from?" more or less...
The cast was fine. Even though the majority of the characters they play serve absolutely no purpose. Noomi Rapace is our heroine. She is does a good job. She helps deliver some of the most intense scenes in the movie. Michael Fassbener is our android friend "David" who gives off a very creepy vibe in a very good way. Charlize Theron is in charge of the operation because the company that she works for has funded this trip. Other than that, she is totally useless. I love her, but she serves no purpose. Not even as eye candy. Idris Elba gets and honorable mention as the captain of the ship because his role could have encompassed Theron's role, and also because he was on The Office. Guy Pierce is the old man who owns the company that funds this expedition. He was like 92 and supposed to be dead. He should have been. his character did nothing but take up space and look bad. Everyone else is waste because in a movie like this you need enemy fodder.
I saw it in IMAX 3D, and that was awesome. There were a few parts that I felt as though I needed to put on a seat belt because the picture ans sound was great. There were also some really intense scenes that really embed themselves in your mind. In your mind. But there weren't very many middle ground parts. it was kind of all or nothing and left me a little unsatisfied. The base story I really like, I just don't fee like it was as tight or polished as it should have been.
END!!! Overall it raised more questions than it answered, but did have an entertaining quality to it. It wasn't as intense as the trailer would lead you to believe, and there were some things that didn't fit or might have fit had they been clearer. I felt like this movie in the series, much like most of the cast, was unnecessary. I see it as more of a stepping stone to more of the answers and Alien lore that I, as a geek, desperately want want.
Dark Shadows
Tim Burton and Johnny Depp have made quite a few thing over the years together, several of them very good. However, this is not one of them. This is a revival of an old soap opera of the same name. In this version a wealthy young man slights a witch who curses him to be a vampire. This curse appears to overflow to the rest of his family who has all but lost his fortune when he is brought forth from his grave and begins to re-establish his family's fortune.
With the cast this movie had, I am stunned at how little I liked it. Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Eva Green, Jackie Earle Haley, and Helena Bonham Carter. Can I just say how much I really enjoy Helena. I think she is generally awesome, but ,Tim, You don't have to put her in everything. People have things they should do and shouldn't. She's great, just not in everything. I was also talking with a buddy of mine about why Michelle Pfeiffer doesn't do more things. But then he named off a couple of her more recent projects, and we realized she probably doesn't because the newer things she picks are crap. So I wouldn't either. Chloe Grace Mortez's character was a bit awkward. She is this weird overly sexualized young girl, that at one point they even mention her touching herself and sounding like a cat. Yeah, we (the audience) don't need that.
The biggest problem with this movie is that it is nothing. It's not funny, scary, gory, or intriguing. It is NOTHING. It isn't even family friendly because of drug use. All the entertaining parts are in the preview, and for some reason they are less good in the feature. Boring is a adequate statement since it has and does nothing to try and keep your interest.
Continuity is a slight issue it has as well. Depp being a vampire cannot go into the sunlight. A fact that they exploit more than once in the movie. One instance Depp even bursts into flames from light through a window. But for some reason he can put on a hat and sunglasses and go outside with no fire. Kinda lame.
I don't know how bad the old Dark Shadows was, but there is no way it was worse than this. good director, better than average cast, bad movie.
With the cast this movie had, I am stunned at how little I liked it. Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Eva Green, Jackie Earle Haley, and Helena Bonham Carter. Can I just say how much I really enjoy Helena. I think she is generally awesome, but ,Tim, You don't have to put her in everything. People have things they should do and shouldn't. She's great, just not in everything. I was also talking with a buddy of mine about why Michelle Pfeiffer doesn't do more things. But then he named off a couple of her more recent projects, and we realized she probably doesn't because the newer things she picks are crap. So I wouldn't either. Chloe Grace Mortez's character was a bit awkward. She is this weird overly sexualized young girl, that at one point they even mention her touching herself and sounding like a cat. Yeah, we (the audience) don't need that.
The biggest problem with this movie is that it is nothing. It's not funny, scary, gory, or intriguing. It is NOTHING. It isn't even family friendly because of drug use. All the entertaining parts are in the preview, and for some reason they are less good in the feature. Boring is a adequate statement since it has and does nothing to try and keep your interest.
Continuity is a slight issue it has as well. Depp being a vampire cannot go into the sunlight. A fact that they exploit more than once in the movie. One instance Depp even bursts into flames from light through a window. But for some reason he can put on a hat and sunglasses and go outside with no fire. Kinda lame.
I don't know how bad the old Dark Shadows was, but there is no way it was worse than this. good director, better than average cast, bad movie.
Men In Black 3
In my ever so humble opinion Men in Black 3 is one of those series that each of the films is a good as the last. They all bring something unique to the universe is live in. In this episode, an intergalactic bad guy escapes prison then travels back in time to kill K, the agent to imprisoned him, and J must go back in time to stop him.
Somehow the Men in Black franchise continues to get an excellent cast for their movies. As always Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are J and old K. They are they typical odd couple that make a great team. They have really good chemistry together, and Will is funny as always. To play Young K they have brought in Josh Brolin who is a spot on Tommy Lee Jones impersonator. The chemistry tat Tommy and Will have carries over to Josh. All the interactions and mannerisms that we love about the characters are brought out once again. One of my favorite new character actors is Jemaine Clement, he is Boris the Animal. He brings this weird creepy wackiness to the character that is needs, He is really starting to grow in me. Emma Thompson, Alice Eve, and Bill Hader all poke their heads in and get a little face time. Ijust with Rip Torn would have still been involved
The special effects and make up have been good through the series. And this is no exception. Boris is an animal with his teeth, eyes, and hair. They do an excellent job with of of the back ground aliens. Unique and interesting. And the 3D effects (mostly in the beginning mind you) were also very good. Plenty of glass and bursting aliens were all up in your face. Boris has this little barb shooting alien that lives in his hand that is both gross looking and awesome. And in IMAX when they time jump. It really trips you out because the size really makes you feel like you are taking the leap with him.
This is another action packed fun trip with our brothers in Black. It even has a couple meaningful bits that people who live the series will really enjoy. Men in Black 3 is a welcome adition to the series that brings back what those of who like the series enjoy.
Somehow the Men in Black franchise continues to get an excellent cast for their movies. As always Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are J and old K. They are they typical odd couple that make a great team. They have really good chemistry together, and Will is funny as always. To play Young K they have brought in Josh Brolin who is a spot on Tommy Lee Jones impersonator. The chemistry tat Tommy and Will have carries over to Josh. All the interactions and mannerisms that we love about the characters are brought out once again. One of my favorite new character actors is Jemaine Clement, he is Boris the Animal. He brings this weird creepy wackiness to the character that is needs, He is really starting to grow in me. Emma Thompson, Alice Eve, and Bill Hader all poke their heads in and get a little face time. Ijust with Rip Torn would have still been involved
The special effects and make up have been good through the series. And this is no exception. Boris is an animal with his teeth, eyes, and hair. They do an excellent job with of of the back ground aliens. Unique and interesting. And the 3D effects (mostly in the beginning mind you) were also very good. Plenty of glass and bursting aliens were all up in your face. Boris has this little barb shooting alien that lives in his hand that is both gross looking and awesome. And in IMAX when they time jump. It really trips you out because the size really makes you feel like you are taking the leap with him.
This is another action packed fun trip with our brothers in Black. It even has a couple meaningful bits that people who live the series will really enjoy. Men in Black 3 is a welcome adition to the series that brings back what those of who like the series enjoy.
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